Happy birthday Mom

Today's my mom's Birthday. I am flying up to Canada this weekend to be with my family so we can celebrate her birthday together.

As a tribute to my mom I want to share something. A few months after my mom died I was listening to Dr. Laura. A lady called in and was despondent over the death of her mother. She couldn't function and couldn't move on with her life. Dr. Laura's response really helped me to understand some things I was going through at the time. I had been feeling guilty that it was so easy for me to come home from that summer with my mom and resume my life. I wondered why I wasn't feeling more like the lady calling in to the show. Her response to the lady was that it would be a tribute to her mother to pick up the pieces and live her life the way her mom had taught her. Although, I didn't know who that woman's mom raised her to be...I knew right then what kind of person my mom raised ME to be. I knew right then why I am able to continue on in her absence even though she was such an integral part of my life. She raised me to have faith, to pray, to rely on the Lord. She taught me that you have to live life. Never waste time feeling sad for yourself. She really did this. She rarely showed self-pity. I really never saw it. She taught me to be strong and independent. She taught me to be positive and to see the blessings in my life. I'm so grateful to her for the kind of woman that she raised me to be and for preparing me to get through the trials of life with more strength and understanding. Thanks mom.

My mom as a cute little girl (3rd from left)

My mom loving Caroline.

I love this picture of my mom and dad.

My mom's senior portrait.

My mom in action--doing what she loved--fussing over the grandkids.

Kade-o Catches the waves

Although Kade may look terrified in some of these pictures--he was loving every second. As soon as his wave came in he would immediately turn around yelling "again! again!"

Catching waves

We went to Carpinteria last week and Carson tried out his new surf board. He did great and loved it! Claire also tried it out and loved it. Unfortunately I didn't get pics of her--I'm not sure why?

Hawaii with Mom

Two years ago my youngest sister Brett was at BYU-Hawaii for the spring term. Towards the end of May my mom decided to go visit her. Soon Stephanie was going too. Then Christy. Brooke was 7 months prego so she couldn't go. Not wanting to miss the party I started looking in to going. I could see it was going to be complicated since we had a camp trip and it was going to be the last week of school. I knew it would be crazy to go but I was feeling like I definitely needed to do it. I could tell my mom really wanted me to go and with her cancer back I wondered how many trips would I be able to take with my mom. So I booked a flight and this is more or less how it went: We camped out friday night at El capitan with friends and on Saturday morning Kade and I left the camp ground late, of course, and barely made it to the airport. We arrived in beautiful Hawaii that evening and I remember vividly my mom greeting me at the airport. She was so lit up and excited to see us. She was wearing this straw hat. I also remember feeling a little uneasy at the sight of her so thin and having lost her hair. I think I somehow sensed in these first moments with my mom that her time was short--even though at the time her prognosis was good for the time being. That sense of sadness stayed with me throughout the entire trip but we had an amazing and fun time--I'll give more details later. SO....fun times for five wonderful days and then a red eye (with an 8 monther on my lap--and straight to the school for Carson's Kindergarten graduation. I say this because it obviously was a little crazy to decide two weeks before the fact to leave my family during one of the busiest weeks of the school year to go to Hawaii for five days. It was so worth it! I'm so glad I have those memories with my mom. About 2 weeks after being home from Hawaii my mom was in the hospital and never back to her active, normal self. Lesson: sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and do things you might think are crazy. Lesson 2: I could not have gone without the help of my friends. I learned how great it is to have supportive friends to help with my kids. It's so nice when we help each other out. Anyways, We had so much fun. I'm so glad I went. I would have always regretted it if I hadn't.

So...lucky Kade. He got to go to Hawaii. He was so good and we just dragged him all over the Island. He loved it. Just him and the ladies.




Snorkeling at Hanauma Bay. My mom loved the snorkeling. She was in there forever. We would just take turns going out with her. We had no trouble spotting her bald head out there when we needed to find her.

Mom and Brett

Brett gave an amazing talk in church while we were there. She talked about her experience with mom's cancer and how her faith was able to help her through it. My family has been an amazing source of faith and strength as we've gone through all of this together.


For some reason I like the image of this picture.

This one too. I think we all had a lot to think about. I wish I could go back to this moment just for a few minutes and re-live it.

We loved the shave ice and so did Kade. In fact food played an important part of the trip as we are all food obsessed. We would eat out and all order something different and then share. Mom loved this--and she said so a few different times. We also made food in the condo and mom would always pack a really good picnic when we would go out for the day. We ate a lot of macadamia nuts and chocolate macadamia nuts and mom picked out a seeded watermelon that was the best I've had since a little kid. I loved the banana pancakes from the hukilau cafe--with coconut syrup--yummy!

We were able to go to a temple session with my mom. It was great.

Like I said--we loved the shave ice.

Polynesian culteral center where Brett worked.

One of my favorite memories is sailing with my mom. She loved it.

My mom was so full of life on this trip. I can't believe she was so close to being completely bedridden. That is my mom, though. To go, go, go until the end.

Since my mom's death I think about this trip with longing more than any other time. I would love to go back to it and sit with her one more time. I have so much I want to talk to her about. We shared a bed (with Kade I might add) and I would wake up in the morning and watch her sleep. I know it's a little sappy but that's how it happened.

I miss her.

Not any Woman

This is something my Cousin Ivory wrote --I think at 2 am after my mom passed away or maybe right before--I love it and it says a lot of what I want to say about my mom for mother's day.

Not Any Woman

Any woman can get married and have eight children...any woman can have five daughters and three sons (with technology now, really ANY woman could) and hold them, feed them, teach them and change them.

But Peggy Hicken Baldry is not ANY woman.

She is our daughter, our wife, our mother, and grandmother. She is our sister and/or best friend. She is our aunt or A.K.A. adopted half-biological mother. She is our sister and law; our daughter and law. She is part of the Hicken Herd, Hicken sisters, the Gang, the Raymond Playhouse Society, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

If you are not biologically blessed to be related, then she is your best friend and confident. She is our hiking buddy, fashion designer, our seamstress. She is our co-worker and counsellor. She coined the term "slogging" which many of you know if you graduated from RHS between 1991 and 1993. I am sure she has coined many other terms.

She is our chef - her specialty is Caesar Salad, baking bread, cinnamon rolls, and pretty much everything else delicious. She is a nurse - mainly to her own children, but also to dozens of other children blessed to be in her care. She started cheerleading as a teen - and hasn’t quit since. She cheer-led for t-ball, swimming, soccer, volleyball, piano, dance, track and field, singing, Grade 9 plays, baseball, basketball, football, rugby. She actually cheered for the cheerleaders and does for Stake Presidents, bishops, missionaries, life, and love. We think she has a world record for most years spent as a cheerleader. Not many are dedicated enough to actually cheer for the high school coach (can you DO that?) But Peggy is. And when he quit coaching, she found another coach to cheer for.

Any woman can get married and have eight children. She could have 5 daughters, 3 sons, 15 grandchildren - granddaughters and grandsons, and hold them, feed them, teach them, change them. But NOT any woman can give birth to THIS family then hold them, feed them, teach them and change them into the best person they will ultimately be. NOT any woman can do all of the above and touch so many lives with such grace, tenderness, and love. NOT any woman can hold them, feed them, teach them, change them, and then leave them with a hand-print of her spirituality that will be forever in their hearts. And then pass her hand-print on for generations to come, while showing them that the prints in His Hands are the ones that really matter.

But we know that Peggy Hicken Baldry is NOT just any woman.

Love, Ivory

AKA adopted half-biological daughter

More memories of Mom

I'm going to catch up...

My mom was very musical. She grew up learning music from my grama and sang quartets with my aunts. She was really good at singing and harmonizing. I remember that she was always harmonizing to my music, which when I was a teenager I thought was so annoying. But now I find my self doing the same thing and it almost always makes me think of my mom. She sang a lot of barber shop with my aunts and always sang in the ward choir. She also always had music playing. When I was little I remember Blondie, Barry Manilow, Anne Murray, etc. She also usually had a part in the town musical theater.

My mom was a really good cook. She made almost everything from scratch. She was a great baker and made homemade bread, cinnamon rolls, cookies, pies etc. I loved coming home from school to her fresh baked bread or especially cinnamon rolls. She always had a hot meal for lunch since we all came home for lunch(small town). She loved trying new things. I remember when she took a chinese food cooking class--she started making the best chinese food from scratch. She also liked to involve us in her cooking and baking and taught us the tricks of the trade. Later I'll post a picture here of me and her in matching aprons(made by her) making cookies.

My mom was also an amazing seamstress. She could sew anything. When I was little she sewed us matching dresses. ( I also have a picture for that I will add.) She made us cabbage patch dolls, jackets, dresses etc. It was always a big joke that when we would go shopping and we'd find stuff we liked mom would go on about how she could "make that so easy"--but then wouldn't. She also made really cute baby blankets once the grandkids started coming.

Mom was super handy. She was for sure our family handiman--dad was just the back up. She told me once that dad was so busy with work and coaching and church stuff that she realized she would have to do the projects herself. She was great at figuring stuff out and did all kinds of projects around the house. She had a really good mind for figuring stuff 0ut--as well as the patience.

My Father in Law

Today is My Father in Law--John's birthday. He passed away about two and a half years ago. I can't believe it's been that long. Anyway, I'm going to interrupt memories of my mom to remember him today. One of my favorite memories of John was a few months before he died. He asked me if I remembered where we were the first time we met. I said yes. It was in Louine's geneology library. I was visiting Ojai for the first time with Matt and we weren't actually dating yet. He had just returned home and came in to the library and that was the beginning of it all. I was so flattered that he remembered--because John has a very good but selective memory. I miss him a lot. He did a lot of good things for a lot of people--and especially our family. He was a great example of hard work and dedication to the things that are important. Happy Birthday John. We love you.

It's May

I can't believe it's May already. May is a good month. It is the month my mother was born and the month of mother's day. So I have decided that in May I will post a memory or thought about my Mom every day of the month. I haven't really started writing memories of my mom yet and I really want to so I think this will be a good start.

So I just had a memory come to mind the other day that I hadn't thought of for a long time. She came to my first girls camp. I remember being on the hike together and being in a canoe together. For some reason I remember that when we were canoeing I noticed that her legs were really hairy. I know--it's random but that's how I remember it--and who knows--maybe someday it will help me remember that you don't always have to have your legs shaved when you are going to the lake. You know like when you have six little kids and you are leaving 5 of them home to go with your oldest daughter to her first girls camp. That must have been a lot of work and arranging--no time for shaving.